Spencer Wolf

Spencer Wolf, born in Paterson, New Jersey during the city's "silver age", has lived in a number of cities under various names. While possessing a wealth of extraordinary talents in a number of fields, he prefers to obsess over speaking about himself in the third person and to spend his time working on the third installment of his autobiography, Two Wives Later: Confessions of a Swedish Meatball Junkie.  "His dog was his moral compass," notes Yin La, Spencer's local massage therapist, "and his passion for internet dating is unrivaled." Spencer still has some teeth, has a quiet comfort with his reputation for being long in the pants, and hopes to settle happily in the hills of the Monterey Bay with a mail order bride.