I am a highly sought after professional Mascot trained for 15 years according to the Burger method. I'm currently "supporting" Ted Greenberg's famous "mostly one-man show" The Complete Performer which has been extended as part of the Fringe Encore Series at the SoHo Playhouse. In deference to the anonymity principle of the Burger method for Mascottery, some of the details of my life have been changed. The details about the present day, and the spirit and quality of my thoughts have not. Look for my memoir in bookstores in October 2008, Becoming Hammy: How I Completely Conquered Bipolar Disorder By Doing Cartwheels In a Hamster Costume.